Archive for October, 2005

yikes

Picked up our India partner at the airport today. There’s something about airports, isn’t there? Standing in the kiosk, waiting for the plane to arrive, I was hit with the unmistakable urge to bolt. I have money in my bank account–just buy a ticket to somewhere and say bye, bitches. Why do I always feel that need to escape? It was overpowering. I stood there as the minutes ticked by, sipping my coffee, wondernig where I would go.

I’m not traveling this year with the company, due to moving expenses I may incur. It bums me out. Japan was finally sounding interesting. Old roommate is going to Germany. And although it’s where I want to be, Keene is sounding less and less exotic.

I’ve been having weird dreams lately. The kind where you’re pissed off at people in your life because of what they did to you in your dream. Weird, weird dreams. I’ve been worrying about money in my head, worrying about what’s going to happen when I move back. Will there be enough work for me to do? Will I feel useful or just stupid that I changed my mind and decided to move back? Argh, too many thoughts this morning.

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What day is it?

In true Jen style, one day late:

+EXTREMELY good times with my sister…I feel like we are a unit again.
+Footballer’s Wives on BBCamerica
+wearing socks to bed
+apple crisp
+limoncello from Siciliy
+HagenDaz with said limoncello
+cookies (not the chocolate chip kind)
+handling an EXTREMELY difficult financial problem all by my self WITHOUT calling my parents–I did it, bitches!
+being warm and safe out of this crazy rain
+being ok with missing Pumpkinfest this year (although not ok with missing my friends…I miss you peeps!)

I know I’ve been away a while…no longer have a computer at home so it’s hard to blog from work since I’ve been so busy.

Extremely low key weekend. Discovered Movies OnDemand, along with a couple free payperview movies. Watched Constantine (which was GREAT!), Death Becomes Her, Lemony Snickets (again) and Overnight, a documentary on Troy Duffy, who directed Boondox Saints. Here’s the Netflix synopsis: “Lose yourself in this riveting documentary that chronicles the rise and ignoble fall of Troy Duffy, a bartender whose script for The Boondock Saints was picked up by Miramax bigwig Harvey Weinstein and made into a film. Like a freight train careening out of control, the arrogant Duffy — once considered Hollywood’s new wunderkind — burns all his bridges, alienating his colleagues, his friends and his long-suffering brother, Taylor”. ‘Boondock’ is one of my favorite movies. It’s a cult classic and it was FASCINATING to watch how Troy started out so low and went so high–did you know at the time his script was picked up that he also nailed down a record deal for his band? The guy is a prick but I honestly think if you’ve seen Boondock, you should see this movie. Because we was supposed to be the next big thing, the next Tarentino, the next Scorsce, Coppola. And he isn’t (Troy Duffy who?). Did his turning into a massive prick kill his career or was it the ruthless Hollywood world?

Not much to report, however. Work is work, homelife is homelife. A coworker has been mailing me classifieds to look for apartments in Keene…can’t believe that December is already right around the corner.

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++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

participation positives

+Waking up to an empty apartment that is (mostly) mine and remembering how much I LOVE that.
+Rearranging said apartment to fit my mood–it’s a little empty but it makes me feel SO HAPPY.
+Lazy solo grocery shopping at the Superwalmart in Amherst Saturday afternoon.
+A good, non-guilt-ridden conversation with Moms.
+Eating healthy yesterday and today AND working out. Makes me feel alive.
+Rain–it’s weird, but I love it.

Sorry for the lack of post-age, homies. Last week I was in Keene for a sales meeting Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and was all work, no play (except for Tuesday night, when I did dinner with the company and drinks with a smaller party–it was SO fun). I can’t wait to get back there. I miss it.

Roommate also moved out last weekend, hence the retaredly-happy apartment positives. I forgot what it’s like to wake up and know you’re the only one home. To put something somewhere and know it will be there when you get back. To buy the groceries I want. To let Penny on the couch-HA! Penny is triumphant. I just feel like smiling. It’s a good feeling to know that part of my life is OVER. Hope I learned a lesson or two.

God is pissed at Keene for some reason. The water is NUTSO. NPR was talking about it this morning.

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