Archive for November, 2006

frustration station

The stars align, my mood is up, the parents are standing by…life seems to be pushing me back to finishing school. My horoscope has been extremely dead fucking on lately.

Of course, nothing goes exactly as planned. I wanted to head back for January semester. After a long talk with the boss woman this morning, I have learned I simply can’t. Maybe not until February…maybe not until April. January and February are notoriously busy and this year promises to be even crazier than normal. Hopefully it will make us incredibly busy beyond our wildest dreams and we’ll all get rich. One thing I won’t be getting anytime soon is any closer to my degree.

Yeah, I’m bummed and frustrated. The fact that I even wanted to think about talking about going back to school is a big deal. I am ready. I want my degree. I want to get out there and do it. I hate beig told no. I hate being told you have to wait. While I understand it, I just want to scream. It’s all about timing, isn’t it?

The last couplem of days have been pretty rough. Today was better. Now a Jack and ginger is making me feel better.

Nothing is permanent. Life is a mystery. You can’t control fate. And so on.

I will go back to school and get my degree.

The sun will come out.

I have my health, my family, my friends, my kittos, a good job and a toasty warm apartment.

Also, I love the Talking Heads.

The End.

PS: What the fuck happened to Jamie Lee Curtis? Is she retarded now?

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it’s sunday and i’m bored

9 lasts:

Last dollar spent: bought “the Anniversary Party” on DVD off Half.com for six dollars including tax, my birthday present to myself.
Last cigarette: at 21 with Nick and Jess
Last beverage: Tea.
Last movie: Goonies, last night.
Last phone call: Nick, last night.
Last song played: Born Under Punches, Talking Heads
Last bubble bath: I don’t remember.
Last time you cried: Last night, watching “Love Actually”. That movie KILLS me.
Last thing you ate: Banana.

8 have you evers.

Have you ever dated a best friend: No.

Have you ever skinny dipped: Nope.

Have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: That’s a loaded question.

Have you ever lost someone you loved: To the point of hysteria.

Have you ever been dumped: Yes.

Have you ever been drunk and threw up? Ew. Yes. Thanks.

Have you ever ran away: It was called Boston, 1998-99.

Have you ever wanted someone u thought u couldnt have then found out they liked you: Life is a mystery.

7 states you’ve been to.
Maine, New York, Vermont, Massechusetts, Connecticut, Florida, Illionois.

6 things you’ve done today: (in no particular order…)
Made tea, cleaned up glasses from last night, changed the light bulb on my porch (hippy bulb!), watched TV, took a shower, played with Arlo

5 of your favorite things in no order.
My friends
My family
My camera
My kitties
music

4 people you can tell [almost] anything to in no order..
Nick, Dani, my sister, my mom

3 things that make you smile.
arlo and lilly
sunshine
kiddos

2 things you want to do before you die.
see the Great Wall of China
touch a glacier

1 one thing you can’t live with out
sense of humor

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awake is the new sleep.

I’ve been sleeping a lot lately. This is a new thing for me. I’m not saying that I was ever an insomniac but I had quite a strict 7 1/2 hours standard in order to feel human. Also if I feel asleep after 1 AM, it didn’t matter what time I woke up–I felt like shit. Now I fall asleep at the drop of a hat. If I close my eyes BAM! asleep. Last night, I laid down on my bed to listen to some music and I woke up at 8AM this morning, still fully dressed, still curled on top of my duvet. I’m not quite sure what the deal is.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Talking Heads.

I watched ‘Gus Van Sant’s Last Days’ tonight on IFC. I am not a big Van Sant fan–I don’t always “get” him. He creeps me out a little. Anyway, this movie is basically what happens to Kurt Cobain leading up to the day he (or Courtney Love, which my brother believed for a very long time and may still, I don’t know and we don’t talk about it anymore. My brother was very into Nirvana for a while, which I find slightly amusing. There is no doubting Nirvana’s inescapable conquer of the entire music scene in the 90’s OR their unmistakable mark they’ve had on every rock band since but Kurt Cobain’s maddening genius was pockmarked by bouts of severe weirdness, the likes these country mice from Pudding Hill had never seen. It would be like you idolizing some Somalian tribesman. That’s how far removed the Seattle grunge scene was from our little town. Anyway, my brother used to insist that Courtney killed Kurt. I don’t really know, I guess. It’s one of those things. Like the Kennedy thing. Or the Elvis thing. People will always talk about it because there is always something to discuss) shot himself in his greenhouse. I had seen the movie on Netflix and wanted to rent it due the yellow classic Cobain glasses Michael Pitt wears on the cover artwork. Truth be told, it felt like I was watching a documentary/dream sequence. A lot of it is very surreal for the mere fact that Pitt looks exactly fucking like Kurt Cobain to the point of downright creepiness. The soundtrack was very cool and I especially liked the implementation of Velvet Underground’s ‘Venus in Furs’ for all it’s conjuring and the hypnotic sitar. It’s not a gripping movie. You’re not waiting to see what happens next…you KNOW that the guy is going to kill himself. There’s not any real dialogue to speak of…it’s a running throng of conversation and Pitt muttering to himself.

But it’s pretty damn good. Feel free to watch it and tell me otherwise.

Thanks for all the nice birthday wishes. It was pretty uneventful, hung out with Nickolas after dinner. Sometimes it’s nice to be quiet. It’s not longer required that I be ass-drunk on my birthday (slightly tipsy is always nice). And anyway I’m afraid these days if I have too many, I’ll just fall asleep at the bar, which would be mortifying/hilarious.

November is almost over…December is coming. Which means ice and snow.

Just listen to David Byrnes. I’m digging what he’s planting.

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random caucasian–japan trip 2006

mosaic1595424.jpg

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check you on the flip

I’m off to the land of the rising sun tomorrow morning…almost today.

Can’t sleep.

Messy house.

Excited/nervous.

Watch my flickr stream–I’m going to try to upload as I go.

Love you all.

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