Archive for January, 2006

I like him better with a mullet, anyway.

It amuses me more than necessary that you can feed “peter sarsgaard hairy chest photos” into yahoo search and my blog pops up…sorry to whoever came here looking for sordid pics of Mr. Sarsgaard. Hope you weren’t too disappointed.


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zelda…don’t ask.


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it’s that kind of night

“it’s way too late to think of
someone I would call now
the neon signs got tired
red eye flights help the stars out
I’m safe in a corner
just hours before me

I’m waking with the roaches
the world has surrendered
I’m dating ancient ghosts
[the ones I made friends with]
the comfort of fireflies
long gone before daylight

and if I had one wish fulfilled tonight
I’d ask for the sun to never rise
if God lent his voice to me to speak
I’d say: “go to bed, world!”

I’ve always been too lame
to see what’s before me
and I know nothing sweeter than
champagne from last new year’s
sweet music in my ears
and a night full of no fear

but if I had one wish fulfilled tonight
I’d ask for the sun to never rise
if God passed the mike to me to speak
I’d say: “stay in bed world

…sleep in peace!”

-03:45: No Sleep, Long Gone Before Daylight, the Cardigans

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listening: Not the Red Baron, Tori Amos

Here I am…in my trusty hotel room in my trusty hotel, where I spent five months of my life the summer of 2004. I HATE this. I’m stuck between Keene and Manchester…all of things are in Keene; my belongings, the things that I love. I just want to be home. I officially moved from Manchester this weekend, in sixty degree rain on Saturday and 30 below snow on Sunday. Nick says when I move, I flee. I think there’s some truth to that now, since I’ve been mulling that over and over and over in my head. In a way, I WAS fleeing, running for my life. I’ve been really unhappy lately, driven to distraction by being uncomfortable at work, having to worry about moving. I feel like things are only going to get worse. I think there’s a lot of animosity about me moving. I feel like I’m being treated like an idiot…I’ve gotten yelled at more in the last couple of days than I can remember…like SCREAMED at and I don’t get it. This afternoon, I just wanted to shrink up and cry.

On a positive note, I know it won’t be long now. Until I’m back where I belong. Until then, something to keep me occupied:

Ten on Tuesday

10 current favorite TV shows

1. Curb Your Enthusiasm
2. King of the Hill
3. Three’s Company
4. The Soup
5. The Simpson’s
6. Creature Comforts (bbcAmerica)
7. Law & Order CI
8. Sex & the City
9. Footballer’s Wives
10. Barefoot Contessa

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music is better than special effects…

listening: Aquarius, Boards of Canada

What is real?

“Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!”
~The Wizard of Oz
What is the first special effects or effects heavy film you remember seeing and thinking “wow” at the visuals? (I know for many, it was Star Wars.) What are some recent examples, if any, that wowed you? (Feeling creative today…yeah…creative)

Honestly, I don’t think I was boweled over by special effects until the Matrix. It was after came out in the theaters. I was at Mikey’s OLD house in Swanzey and there were a lot of us (Mikey, Neil, me, Laura, Pete, Kevin and…and…is her name Rachel?) watching it on the big screen TV. I had to old onto the couch to keep from floating away…if you know what I mean. I was rediculously blown away.

When I was younger, I wasn’t really wowed by special effects. I remember always being afraid during ‘Flight of the Navigator” at the beginning and during the part where they go back in time. I liked plots more…love stories, action adventure…all the jazz. I didn’t care too much for flashy junk. In my later (and toastier) years, I’ve grown to enjoy visual stimulation (The Waking Life, Amelie, etc.). But I’m not too much of a special fx person…at all. Recently, I was totally blown away by Lord of the Rings…and Harry Potter. 🙂

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I like it loud

Listening: VH1 Classic, ‘Headline Act: Kiss’…yeah, I have no idea

Taken from Liz:

Four jobs I’ve had:

1. Current job: Band-Aid at successful tour operator
I love my job…sorry.
2. Cashier/Shift leader, Hannaford Bros.
The code for bananas is 4011.
3. Hostess at The Pub restaurant.
4. Ashuelot Valley Coffee and Tea Emporium (… and Third Generation Plumbing)
My first “real” job. I think I made $4 an hour.

Four movies I’ve seen more than once:(this is hard…I watch movies over and over and over)

1. Wonderboys.
I like how warm the movie feels…the light.
2. The Anniversary Party.
I’ve seen this movie six times…maybe more. I like it more every time I see it.
3. Amelie
It needs to be watched several times.
4. Anchorman
I’ve counted…I’ve seen it almost forty times (six being on a flight from Vienna to New York). That makes me want to throw up. It’s so funny though!
“You look like a blueberry!”

Four places I’ve lived

1. Winchester, NH
I’m from the ritzy side…that was a joke.
2. Boston, MA
Will forever be my favorite place on the face of the planet.
3. Marlborough, NH
The time of my life.
4. Manchester, NH
This sucks.

Four TV shows I’ve seen more than one episode of (are we kidding here?)

1. I Love the 80’s (the original and Strikes Back and 3d and 70’s and 90’s and 90’s: Part Deux…oh, yeah…and the stupid Holiday one)
What can I say folks: when I say I watch it whenever it’s on…I’m TOTALLY not kidding.
2. CSI
3. Three’s Company
I’m obsessed.
4. King of the Hill.
WWAAAHHH…that was for Annie, who can Hank WAY better than me.

Four places I’ve been on vacation

1. Florida
2. Lake Winneapausaki
3. My House
4. Portland, ME

Four Favorite Foods

1. Cheezit Twister things
They have crack on them.
2. Turkey Clubs
3. Pad Thai
4. Tomatoes

Four places I’d rather be

1. Keene
2. Prague
3. Tony Clamatos’
4. Somewhere Warm.

The four CDs I listened to most recently

1. X&Y, Coldplay
Yeah, we DID break up but we are SOO back together.
2. Best of, Groove Armada
3. Bloc Party
4. Nick’s Birthday mix

Last four vehicles IÂ?ve owned

1. Ford Focus, dark grey
named Natascha.
2. VW Golf, mint green
My first actual car. I loved that frickin’ car. The doors didn’t open, the radio didn’t work and the bumper fell off but I LOVED it.
3. Ford Ranger, dark green
Named Teek.
4. Corsica, red
My first car my parents bought. I drove that thing into the ground. It went up Pisgah…that’s all I’m saying.

Things in my life that come in fours

1. Penny and Lily…on four legs.
2. Gay men…Neil, Nick, Mickey and James
3. My family.
4. Average amount of times I hit snooze in the morning

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shine a light

listening: “Blue Skies”, Groove Armada

Three hundred and fity nine days ago, I was doing the exact same thing I’m doing right now.


Yes, this year from hell has finally come to an end. In exactly seven days and one half hour my life here in Manchester will be officially done. I am going through my belongings, throwing stuff out and wrapping things in newspaper, an act I have done four times in the last two years. And, just a note, I LOVE wrapping stuff in newspaper. I like the smell.

It’s not even that I have a lot of stuff anymore. Most of it was thrown out or left in Marlborough when I moved in September of 2004. My first apartment in Manchester looked like a refugee camp…or, more accurately, Grace Adler’s apartment. I still had stuff in boxes. I know what that means. It means that I don’t feel that I will be in that place for very long. If I don’t feel comfortable, I don’t unpack. And now, in the most uncomfortable place in the world, all my shit is sans boxes. It means I thought I would get comfortable. All I did was go a little nuts. Now I have to sort through it again and decide what I can part with. I really can go either way with things…total packrat or total minimalist. I have a lot of crap I’ve hung onto for YEARS. Stuff that never left the box when I moved from the Main Street apartment into the Cottage Street Upstairs apartment. Why do I hold onto things? It’s not even like it holds emotional value anymore…the motorized monster truck Jen Baker gave me for my 18th birthday, the plastic frog the Freaks from Room 15 gave me at Simon’s Rock (Ace), various notes from Nick, VHS tapes (I no longer own a VCR), over ten bottles or tubes of dried up lipstick and nail polish in ugly colors I’ve never worn. A lot of the stuff I’m throwing out is trash, stuff I’ve been too lazy to throw up in the last four months. My sister still even has stuff here. It’s kind of hard to believe that this time next week I’ll never have to set foot in Manchvegas again if I don’t want to. Sure, I’ll miss people at work (which was actually used as an attempt to sway my decision by someone) but I’ll get over it.

And who am I living for, anyway? Work…or me?

Before New Year’s I learned the decision was made that I would be back in Keene by February 1st, meaning I only have to live in a hotel for two weeks instead of indefinitely. I didn’t really believe it the first time I heard it because, unfortunately, I’ve learned that most things said in my company are either taken back or denied eventually. So when I heard it again, for rizzle, I couldn’t believe it. How can one simple sentence make me so giddy? I’m just glad that I’m going back to Keene. Maybe I’ll regret it…but I TOTALLY doubt it.

My sister moved to Cambridge the second week of December and her apartment is frickin’ sweet. She’s living my dream, folks. She deserves all good things.

I am typing this right now on my new baby…`rents got me a laptop for Christmas….for school….yeah….school….that’s the ticket! Seriously, Franklin Pierce looms in my future for next fall. I’m looking forward to getting back in there. Meanwhile, said laptop plays my music and extensive SNL clip librairy and lets me surf. I’m happy.

I will be more happy when I am sleeping under my parents’ roof again–safe, warm and home.

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