OMG (or why I should just stay inside)

listening: Tabla Solo in Shikhar Tal, Ravi Shankar

Oh wait. Don’t go. You have to hear…I’ll turn down the sitar. Really? Ok, let me find something else…

listening: Farmhouse, Phish

Ok, that’s better.

ANYWAY…as I said I may have mentioned, I was a little hungover this morning when I woke up. I had plans to go visit my mum at college so I dragged my ass into the shower and headed out. We had a great time. I was planning on blogging about some of the stuff we talked about, but I think I’ll do that tomorrow, as my normally scheduled blog has been prempted for One of the Craziest Things That Has Ever Happened To Me. I loves my life.

So I drove back from Durham without a hitch and headed up to Stop and Shop to get:
1. Dog food, Beneful Healthy Weight, one bag of
2. Watermelon, “seedless”–yeah right, one quarter of
3. Celery, whole head of (currently ADDICTED to celery–what does that mean??)
4. (unplanned) Trident Whitening, one pack of

All in all, the total came to $12.00 total. I had $15.00 on me so I fed it into the little self checker and headed back to my car. I was thinking about how I don’t think I thanked Jim for dinner last night. I was thinking about how I need to find a place to live in Keene. I was thinking about the fact that I didn’t feel well and those clam strips I had at Newick’s weren’t sitting well and how I should have picked up Tums. I was thinking about my mom. I put my groceries into the trunk, got in my car and started home, all pleased with myself because I found yet another shortcut.

What I WASN’T thinking of was that I left my purse (containing cell phone, check book, wallet, cash, credit card, debit card, license, social security card (I know, I’m stupid, I shouldn’t have it in there), new tube of lip gloss that I LOVE and just bought, flash drive and gum) in the cart. Also, said purse is a Burberry ok ok it’s a fake Burberry, with matching wallet, that roommate got me IN CHINA. I turned my ass around quicker than you can say “Nervous breakdown” and sped back to Stop and Shop. My purse, of course, silly Jen, is gone. Gone, gone, gone. Some lady saw me standing there, close to tears and bellowed “YOU LOSE A PURSE?! I SAW TWO PUERTO RICANS WITH IT, THEY JUST LEFT!!”

So, rather ingeniously I think (despite that fact that I was in this f-ing situation to begin with) I called my cellphone, in hopes that they would answer. She did. Little old spanish lady, who tried SO HARD to give me directions (neither spoke the others language. Five years of Spanish and I got nothing). I drove around for three and half hours (I HATE THIS CITY!!) looking for her address and when I got there, this little, teeny tiny girl told me that she had just dropped it off at Stop and Shop because her mama had to go to church and they thought I was lost. I got to Stop and Shop and THERE IT WAS. Cellphone, cash, credit cards–all there. Lip gloss-CHECK. Can you believe that? The kindness of strangers, ya’ll. Where the crap would I be without it? In tears. In tears having a nervous f-ing breakdown. Best part of the whole thing is that they called half the people in my phone book. So if you got a call–I’m sorry. I am not kidnapped, hijacked, lost or dead.

I am one lucky beyatch.

Also exhausted.

Nighters.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: