sometimes i get so lost in my head i forget my way out

god help me i don’t want to use caps

penny is sniffing my down comforter, wondering what dog slept there last night.

it was her.

i am no longer overdrawn. 200 miraculously appeared in my account.

neil got a 1000 loan. he will not lose his lights.

i talked to the dean today about a leave of absence.

reading kath’s entry made me think of how opposite i am. i’m not a college girl. i have no interest in college right now. i could care less. i never wanted to go to college in the first place.

the dean interrupted my spiel with a “well, not right now. maybe later.”

maybe.

ah, my mother shall be crushed when she learns i will be dropping down to only two classes for the rest of the semester and then dropping out next year. my father always reminds me of ‘unconditional love’. i think my mother unconditionally loves me, she just will always unconditionally bitch about everything i do.

penny is snoring.

i’m going to bed.

“There is a voice inside of you

That whispers all day long,

“I feel that this is right for me,

I know that this is wrong.”

No teacher, preacher, parent, friend

Or wise man can decide

What’s right for you — just listen to

The voice that speaks inside.”

–Shel Silverstein “the voice” from ‘Falling Up’

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