sentimental geek

In the movie of my life, Interpol’s “Untitled” will run over the end credits.

Sorry for the lack of content lately. I haven’t felt well all week. I think my body was about ready to shut down from exhaustion. My eyes are all screwed up again. I’ve got to be allergic to something because the skin around my eyes is dry and irritated–which makes me dry and irritated. I went to bed at 8 o’clock Wednesday night and slept like a stone until 630am. I felt a little better but my eyes were SO PUFFY I felt like those kids from Marilyn Manson’s video “I don’t like the drugs but the drugs like me”. Yikes. I have no clue what causes it. I just know it sucks.

Needless to say, because I’ve felt like crap over the last week, I’ve been a mega bitch. Specially to some people because I think I can be shitty and get away with it. So if I was a douchenozzle to you this week–I’m sorry. You’d be cranky too if your eyes looked like Sheryl Crow’s after a four day bender. Wild turkey, anyone?

I am psyching myself up because the Neil, Nick and I are taking a trip to my most favorite place in the world–Ikea. Wheee! We’re driving down tomorrow morning to New Haven since they can’t get their shizzle together and open the one in Massechusetts. I WILL be there on opening day in November, with f-ing bells on. I cannot wait.

And oh yeah, for all those stupid ass redneck jerkoffs with nothing better to do than scream at some poor grieving woman instead of watching Nascar, diddling their sister or electrocuting the mentally retarded:

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

I was also going to caption this “Hooray for Bush.”

Idiots.

Neil, it’s Bloc Party, Always New Depths.

Why do I get so happy when they play Jeff Buckley?

It makes me stretch and smile.

listening: soft as snow (but warm inside), my bloody valentine

I have taken my need for new music to drastic levels. Unfortunately the burner is being a douchebag and I have wasted TWELVE f-ing CDs trying to burn a CD tonight. What the crap is wrong with it?? I have finally finally finally got it to work (we’re talking like four hours later) and I’m actually exhausted.

HOWEVER I would like to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to ultragrrrl for introducing me to editors. They are fucking great. Neil, don’t worry. I made you a present. I’m coming home this weekend if you’ll be around. Or if you don’t lose your house…or perhaps your car…or your mind. (sorry) Also checking out Nightmares of You–they’ve got some stuff up on Rhapsody and it rocks pretty hard.

Tomorrow’s Friday ya’ll–laters.

listening: yeah yeah yeahs, fever to tell (entire album thanks to rhapsody)

Just an FYI, this is what I feel like right now.

I can feel it coming.

Ah, PMS…what the christ would I do without you–other than live a normal and happy life. Around this “time of the month” (god I hate that expression), I get overly emotional and sooooooooooooo teeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnssssssssseeeeeeeeeee. I just want to scream at everyone until I cry and can’t stop. Life feels overbearing and dull and boring and listless. I want to sleep and sleep and sleep but I can’t and end up watching TV and obsessing about a boy who will never fall in love with me.

I completely forgot about radiohead. Completely forgot. I have become increasingly bored with my music selection lately (having yet to get an mp3 player–I think it’s going on the birthday list). Driving to work Monday was a death defying dance of driving and digging through the riffraff group of CDs that resides in my car. Here is a list of what I found:
Beta Band, Heros to Zeros
assorted, Laurel Canyon Soundtrack
U2, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Frank Sinatra, Taking A Chance on Love
Poe, haunted
assorted, cream ibiza 2001
Coldplay, Live at Maida Vale 25.03.03(illegal, illegal, illegal)
morcheeba, big calm
Led Zeppelin, Physical Graffiti
mystery disc #1: back 2 the future 80’s, some kind of weird bad house music–whose is it?
death cab, transatlanticism
sarah mclachlan, remixed
Coldplay, Rush of Blood the the Head (does not play, one of three)
Sander Kleinenberg, Global Underground Nubreed 4, CD 1
mystery disc #2 and #3, apparently blank burned CDs that do not play, one may be nick’s annual birthday mix. (update, one is a bad copy of transatlanticism, probably made at nick’s house for Neil)
Paul Van Dyk, Reflections (sucks BTW)
Alanis Morrisette, supposed former infatuation junkie (does not play)
seven mary three, rock crown (Neil, this is yours)
massive attack, mezzanine
snow patrol, final straw

And finally, radiohead, ok computer.

Oh christ what an album. It’s just one of those albums you can put on and drive to and get lost in. Makes me think of Adawg Capasso. Makes me think of fall. Makes me happy to be angry and frustrated. As does the fantastic karen o of the yeah yeah yeahs. I am so blaring date with night on the way to work tomorrow.

I don’t mean to be so angry and pissy, ya’ll. I’m sorry I’m not my normal, chipper self.

song for Neil: cross bones style, cat power (find it)

listening: dirty epic, underworld

Neil, before I forget–WATCH THIS MOVIE. You’ll probably have to hunt to find it but it’s worth it. Find it.

What’s up bitches?

I’m back from Florida and I have to say…

Pardon the retardo picture but I think it captures my new sentiment perfectly. I love Florida. It was fab. I’ve always hated Florida. I hated Florida since I first visted there when I was 15…when I hated everything, which explains a lot. I had a great flight down…no longer scared of flying, peeps.

I don’t have a lot to say. I started a lot of this post yesterday night but there’s a deep bone tiredness inside of me that I haven’t been able to shake since Sunday night. I know I should sleep but it’s nice having the house to myself.

Oh, other in other news…I was planning on going to Russia this year on a FAM (travel agent jargon for familiarization trip…means company pays and you get to visit all the hotels we use in the particular destination–I’ve been on two, Rio in 2002 and Budapest, Vienna and Prague this past November). Unfortunately, they cancelled the Russia FAM. My boss told me to choose between Japan and China–and Japan is probably going to be it. Anyone have an opinion on this? I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan but, and this sounds really dumb, after seeing Lost in Translation, I’m a little more interested. Must learn to like sushi. Must.

listening: it’s a motherf*cker, eels (from the anniversary party soundtrack)

Thursday night, finally. Heading down to Orlando tomorrow but not before I splurge and buy a digital camera. I need one at this point…it’s waay waay past want. Little nervous about flying by myself, as I HATE HATE HATE flying (yes, I work for a tour operator, it’s hilariously ironic, I know) and I’ve never flown by myself. I am not freaking-out-having-a-nervous-breakdown-like-Europe-in-November so don’t get scared. I’m fine, just jumpy-ass nervous. Excited to see my sister (Annie) and to see where she lives, as I’ve never visted her before and now she’s moving home. My parents are also getting us a place at Cocoa Beach for the week so we can have a some beachy happiness. I’m psyched about that but it’s supposed to be hot–and not with two t’s. I’m ready for a vacation. I’m sure I’ve said this a hundred times, but I need a vacation. I KIND of just had one in May, but I haven’t traveled for a vacation since before I was in college and that was with the Fam. I’m flying out tomorrow night at 830 and get in at 1120 into Orlando. Godwilling, my father will still be awake and will meet me at the airport so I don’t have to take a cab. I haven’t been to Orlando in YEARS…over ten, I think…yikes, I feel OLD! They bought a timeshare down there when I was like 14 or 15. I HATED it. I am generally not a big fan of FLA. It’s a lot like a big flaccid somethingorother down there. My brother and I are both kind of down on Florida, but that’s because he skis and wants to be in Vermont for the rest of his life. My dad is psyched because apparently he and Annie and Annie’s boyfriend Phil are going golfing tomorrow morning. My dad now lives for golf. It’s very strange…the whole family likes to golf. I’d rather stick my head in the microwave–am I missing something??

Roommate and I drove up to my parents house last night to drop of my dog. I didn’t want the dog to stay here while I was gone and she has a great time at my parent’s house, even though they’re not going to be there until Monday. My uncle is watching the house so I’m not TOO worried but I am a little bit of a nervous mother. Roommate had never been to lovely Keene, so it was an experience. I kind of think that bringing someone who doesn’t really understand me to Keene is like showing them a big chart of why I am the way that I am. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn’t. I just want the next four months and four weeks to go quickly and quietly. I did feel that altogethernew rush when I hit the lights going into Keene; almost teary choked up happy feeling. Like when you hear a song you haven’t heard in a while and it triggers a memory and you feel high and delirious.

Like ‘writing to reach you’ by travis that just came over my speakers. Perfect example.

OMG, great new show on Bravo is Kathy Griffin’s ‘D-List’. Watched “Kathy Griffin is…Not Nicole Kidman” last night. She’s really brilliant. And bitchy. But also brilliant. Good for her getting her own show–she deserves it. And to think, she used to be on “Suddenly Susan”…how come poor Brooke has to battle Crazyass and why doesn’t Judd Nelson get HIS own show? Where the hell is Judd Nelson these days? Him and his big nostrils are MIA–anyone got any ideas.

Speaking of long lost, I was poking around Rhapsody and wanted to get some Big Wreck, one of my all time favorite bands and really good summer music. They came out in 1998, the spring I graduated and I fell in lust with them, their music and the lead singer, Ian Thornley. Sadly, they are no more. HOWEVER, Ian has a new band called Thornley and they are kind of touring. My friend Art went to see them last summer somewhere and got them to autograph a CD for me. Good music still, though, honestly. He’s got the voice of a god…very Chris Cornell meets Robert Plant. Anyway, apparently he is still hot…

Poked around their website for a while and came across something a little interesting…also sad…but interesting and a little tragically funny and we all know, that’s the best kind of funny. They haven’t been touring much, but they do have some pics up. Check out this pic…

You should click on it to get the full effect of that metal hair do.

Do you see it? Do you see it? No? No, it’s not the guitar player or his fucked up retarded `do. Still can’t see it? Look again…

I am VERY sad to say that Thornley is CLEARLY not rocking the house. Look at that. This is a ROCK show and these people are just staring. Scroll up and look at how hard that guy is rocking that guitar and his ill-advised scalp malfunction. Now look at the picture again. They’ve got nothing. Either we caught them all in the start of a headbang or Thornley shouldn’t be looking forward to opening for anybody this summer…maybe a KFC or something. How sad. Their CD is good though so if you haven’t heard it I suggest you give it a listen, if you like that sort of thing. It’s sad when your heroes go bust, especially when they’re so talented. Feel bad really. In tragically funny kind of way.

Ok, off to pack. I’m going to try to set up a Flickr account so I can post pics of my journey. Check back later.

Laters.

listening: lilac wine, grace, jeff buckley

Kind of a sad song tonight but I need something to calm down with.

Ah, where to start. My mind has been all over the place lately. Firstly, apologize for the ganj-heavy posts lately…it’s summer and I’m feeling it. Feeling the urge to be irresponsible and such. Not really work friendly so sorry in advance.

Amazing thunderstorm last night. I remember when I was at camp when I was 13 or 14, I was heading into the bathrooms one night and it got struck by lightning. The camp has lightning rods installed in all the buildings, so the air got all crackly and blue and orange with the loudest BOOM! I’ve ever heard. It was amazing. The tennis courts used to get hit all the time, shaking the ground and the cabins beside the courts. Why can’t grown ups still go to camp? I wish I could. But there are bills to be paid and careers to be forged…no time for sailing and 4-Square and jumping off the tower.

Work is crazy. We’re not that busy but there’s a huge amount of stress there. Only four months and four weeks before I move back home, back to a crazier, more stressful place–one that I miss dearly every damn day. I like it there. I know it’s loud and cramped but I honestly feel like that office is my home. My home with my family in it. Now all I have to do is find a place to live. Still very nervous. I compulsively look through the classifieds at the Sentinel, waiting for that two bedroom house with a deck and washer dryer hookup for $600.00 a month, all utilities included and why, yes! dogs are welcome! I know I’ll never find it…I’m just daydreaming. Everyone was very careful to point out when I was moving back from Manchester to Keene that it couldn’t be the same again. That I’m flighty and move compulsively. I just get the urge to go and I go–and I lived in Keene for FIVE YEARS. That’s not flighty. I stayed at the same job for FIVE YEARS, a job I am still working, against my better judgement because I f-ing love it. So now, because I hate Manchester and everyone in this city (except lovely #1 Jim), I want to move back to Keene. It will be different. I won’t have a roommate. I’ll be on my own. It will be interesting to see. I’m looking forward to it–can you tell?

Today is little Eddie Furlong’s birthday. What the hell is going on in this picture? Upon further investigation on IMDB, apparently Eddie played the Crow in the third OMG, FOURTH (THEY MADE FOUR OF THESE MOVIES!) installment of this almost good movie gone bad like bad cottage cheese in a car in August in Phoenix. Oh, that’s hilarious. Miss cottage cheese butt herself Tara Reid was also in it. And it got shitty reviews–shocker. Where the hell has Eddie been at lately? He did Pecker and dropped off the face of the Earth. And yes, I call him Eddie. In the years when Jonathan Brandis (RIP) and Neil Patrick Harris decorated my walls, I did tear one lone Eddie Furlong pinup from my Big Bopper and hung it on my wall, probably partially obscured by a Joey Lawrence. He’s not a bad actor, honestly. He just makes bad decisions. And has bad hair. Speaking of bad hair, Macy Gray is also “starring” and is being an “actress” in this “movie”. I bet she’s steller.

Macy should do antidrug commercials…she’d make a compelling arguement.

Speaking of Neil Patrick Harris…and ganj, I watched Harld and Kumar go to White Castle last night and I gotta say, it is really, really funny. Bathroom jokes are still funny to me at 25-almost-26. It’s my inner 12 year old boy. He’s a little pissant. And NPH is in it. And he’s still hot!